i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
