Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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