I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
