We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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