i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
