Even the bartender felt bad for me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
