So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
