He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
