I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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