it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
