So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
