If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize