Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
