Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
