I can't breathe out the right side of my face
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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