can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
