He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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