Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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