Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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