you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
