Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize