he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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