my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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