I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize