I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
