it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
