ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
