you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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