i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
