Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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