how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
