What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
