Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
