I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
