Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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