So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
