I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
