youre lurking in front of me
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
