...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
