Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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