She announced her abortion via fbk
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
