They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
