so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
