it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Congratulations! We have a period
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