Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
