we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
