Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
