Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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