Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
