I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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