you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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