You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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