why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
