dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you traded sex for a burrito?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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