Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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