So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
