you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
